After having my two babies, I had gained 100 pounds, and I wasn’t feeling like myself. I looked in the mirror and thought, who am I? Who is this woman standing in front of me? And instead of loving the woman and the reflection that I saw, the woman whose body gave life, I shamed myself.
I felt stuck living with high functioning anxiety and had ZERO self-confidence. I spent plenty of days feeling shame for being “too fat” or “too” anything else; not feeling enough or feeling unhappy with my ‘’mom body’’. I’ve pushed down feelings through binge eating with an oversized wine glass in hand, through social media, overworking, and anything else that would numb me. I felt out of balance, anxious and alone.
On the outside, I wore a mask: happy, outgoing and successful. On the inside, I had no self-worth.
I started to run. At the beginning I used to pretend that I was running away from my life. Truth be told, at first I hated running. The extra weight I was carrying hurt when I ran and I felt guilty doing something for me. Slowly it began to shift and running wasn’t about running anymore, it became my therapy.
WE MANIFEST IN LIFE WHAT WE BELIEVE WE DESERVE.
I had never been a confident person for as far back as I can remember. As a young girl, I struggled to speak up in school and hated being seen. In middle school, I struggled with an eating disorder. As I got older, I was often paralyzed by perfectionism and anxiety.
I had emotions and beliefs about myself hardwired into my brain running on auto-pilot. I am “not enough” was my constant subconscious belief. I continued to call in relationships and circumstances that reinforced this story. When I discovered the freedom that running allowed me, how my mindset began to shift and my negative storylines slowed to a halt as my brain literally rebuilt neural pathways towards self-worth and confidence.
That’s when I discovered my purpose. I wanted all the women I knew to feel this empowerment.
I started to share the power of running with other women and empowered myself with training in all aspects of the fitness field: personal training, weight lifting, yoga, and group fitness. I created MOGA® Moms, launching my own company that combined my love of running through our Learn to Run club with yoga for expectant and new moms. I also founded the MOGA® Mamas for Mamas Charity Race.
Being side-by-side with women who went from having never run at all to experiencing the true freedom of finishing their first 5km race was an exhilarating experience.
I’ve since shared that love of running with my own boys, who started out going with me in their strollers, and my oldest now runs beside me.
Running in all these ways has sparked career changes, mindset shifts, and my passion for continuing to share that love of running and the empowerment it instills. Because I learned you can’t manifest anything if you do not believe you are worthy of what you want to call in.
I want you to know that you are so worthy.
My IDEAL DAY IS WITH MY
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT
helping you find
the word "trying",
that hustle game
"You either walk inside YOUR STORY AND OWN IT, or you stand outside your story and HUSTLE FOR YOUR WORTHINESS.
— Brené Brown
WORdS TO LIVE BY